Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found a bag of teeth...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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