Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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