I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
