i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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