The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
