You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize