Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
