Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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