We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
As shirtless as possible
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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