i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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