I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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