I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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