It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
