ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
