I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
