Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
