His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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