He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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