Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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