I'd wear matching sweaters with you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
