I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
