Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
