I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
OPIZZABONMYDICK
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
