so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
