The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's shark week go big or go home
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
