dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
