Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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