a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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