I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize