i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
