I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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