Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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