there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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