Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
