Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
thus making me awesome and them whores
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
