I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
