Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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