Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
