I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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