Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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