**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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