people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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