In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When are your genitals available?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
