if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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