Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
