does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
