Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
