I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
