Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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