also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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