and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
