It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
FUCK WHALES
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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