There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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