Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
