Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
