Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We are all done wearing pants today
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
