am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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