She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
