based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
