I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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