i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
