Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
