This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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