Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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