I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm jealous of your bromance
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
