I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
