We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
