he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
