Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize