what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize