Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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