i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
